little gnome and baby cat (plus two): Anderson's first day of school

The first day of school. So hard for Mommy, oh I'd been dreading it for awhile. It's no fun having events that just prove what you already know, that they are indeed growing up way to fast. How did we go from that little bald baby snuggled up to his Mama to this? I've been home with him for the last 5 years and it still doesn't feel like enough. I thought really hard about homeschooling, at least for the early years, up to age 6 or maybe 8. I read lots of John Taylor Gatto (which I need to avoid now, so that I'm not swallowed by Mommy guilt). And I watched that Ken Robinson TED Talk one too many times. I weighed the pros and cons, because there are many on both sides.

So this is it. I made my decision and have to just go with it. Don't get me started on what I think about the new full day kindergarten, or about fundraising practices in schools. But I am really happy with the new play-based, child-led curriculum that is kindergarten right now. And I am so happy about the teacher that Anderson has, not only have I heard so many good things about her, but from the few times I've met her, I get that same good feeling. His classroom is full of great nature based materials, it is so nicely organized and even the two times I've been there, I've noticed that the play stations have been changed and refreshed. They go outside everyday as part of the curriculum and she said, rain or shine, they are out there to learn and play. Yesterday, he told me about leaf painting that they did outside. These are activities, I have to admit to myself, that I would not be doing in my exhausted, sore, sick state of twin pregnancy.

He comes home happy and sleeps well. And I'm really enjoying getting to know Maeva in a different way, by having so much time alone with her. I still feel like it is too much everyday, 35 hours a week just seems insane...I even hate writing that. I don't want you to even know that my kid is sent off for that many hours a week. And I miss him. The evenings are so short and rushed, with basically just time for dinner and then bedtime. I'm just happy that with all my January babies, I get lots of home time with them. And I do have the option of keeping him home some days, if we need it. School isn't mandatory until they reach first grade. But this just had to happen, with two newborns entering the scene this winter, this Mama's sanity is important for everyone (and that's not even guaranteed with one in school!).

So here's to our hardest lessons as parents:

Loving them with all that you've got and then letting them go out and spread their wings.

Knowing your personal limits and accepting what you can and can't do - even though I still get all dreamy over those homeschool Mama (of 8 kids) blogs.

Trusting and believing in the decisions that you do make as a parent - and there will be many that's for sure.

And finally, not being to damn hard on yourself as a parent, I'm still his Mama, even though I sent him to school!