through the years

as a young women

...and as the priest said during the sermon,

"elle était une femme avec du fierté. une femme avant-garde."

memories of home on crestmoore

i have her eyes

I have her eyes. Many of us have her eyes. Even my first-born, her great-grandson, has her eyes. If I look into her eyes or my dad’s or my son’s or at my own in the mirror, it seems as though our souls are all connected. I have her height as well. Sometimes I see so much of myself in her, and it has created a deep sense of reflection in me as I’ve watched her age. I’ve just become so aware of the stages and phases of life. Right now I’m raising young children and think one day they will be grown. And I’ll be a little old woman with those brown eyes and a deep pride for my children and with a past that I will reflect on with fondness as she has. She never missed an opportunity to tell others at her home at the Southwind of the five boys she raised. And it always made her so happy to listen to them all laughing, talking and teasing each other. They always got the best laughs out of her, where she’d be almost crying.

I received a quote from my aunt when she heard the news of Grandmaman, and it just perfectly explains all these thoughts I’m trying to organize in my head.

"What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others." - Pericles

An era, or a time is over right now, and its closing has been in the works for a while. The Christmas celebrations in the basement of Crestmoore, the smell of tortière in Grandmaman’s kitchen, standing on a stool in her sewing room being measured for my high-school graduation dress, learning how to stretch and pin a quilt using picnic table clips, sleeping in her bed as small child (under a quilt she sewed and stitched), while she slept down the hall and endured Grandpapa’s roaring snoring…and us never finishing those porcelain dolls.

Her talents and hunger for creating hand-made things were numerous. Cooking, quilting, sewing, smocking, crocheting, tatting, paper tole, doll making. She was always eager to teach and share her talents, and I’ve tried my hand at most of her talents. I also share her way of bursting with ideas of things to create and starting a whole bunch of projects and having all these things on the go at once. And over time we do complete things, but there are always dozens of projects sitting in boxes just waiting. I actually have a box of some of her unfinished projects in my own sewing room, waiting for my time, love and attention. And that is what Grandmaman gave so much of to her creative endeavours and to her family. Her time, love and attention.

And she has woven so much of her time, love and attention into all of our lives. It is woven into the things she has made for us. It is woven deep within our hearts. And deep within many of our warm, brown eyes. Look around, look into each other’s eyes. She is there. Never to be forgotten.

i threw out an idea for gratitude. he didn't get it.

sometimes my memory-making overwhelms me.

i feel so worn out. counting down to naptimes and bedtimes. like i'm wishing the hours away. i don't like that feeling.

i layed on the very edge of the bed. like i did when i was pregnant and had to leave the rest of the space for baby.

habit inspired

I've been following habit blog for a while now. I've always loved the posts, the little snippets of everyday. They seem personal but then again a little elusive. I find the guests so talented in their words and image pairings and think I couldn't do the same. So I'm challenging myself to some "habitblog" style posts. It is supposed to be one a day. But, I'm going to do a little cluster from the last few days and then take it from there.

in and out

Tis the season for blurring the boundaries between inside and outside. Did I mention I love spring? And weekends too!

{this moment} apr 8

library

We just checked out our new local library, a temporary location, but good selection nonetheless. 14 months is a time of great budding interest in books. Half the time they are upside down. But she never tires of a quiet corner and a board book.

strawberry in the garden

I can almost feel summer when there is sunshine like this and a stawberry in the garden!

this mess

When there is a mess like this and Mommy is a photographer:

take photo. clean mess.

Which does work to their advantage, because they can't really get in trouble if Mama took a photo.

the sun-spring is here

Anderson's word for this time of year and what comes to melt the snow: "the sun-spring".

It is that time of year; to pull out all the outside toys, bbq more often, swing under blue skies, have the first patio drink and dine, welcome new friends to our yard (we also saw our first robin), and to explore all the wet, muddy, sandy cold textures under the warmer sun.

siblings

I love watching the ebb and flow; the ups and downs of this sibling relationship forming and evolving

lil' rocker